Addictive Personality's SUCK

I’ve always had an addictive personality. I am more extreme than others about anything and everything. To no surprise, Juuling became a ritual of mine and I was hitting it constantly. Started when I was going out, but it then became such a habit when I was sober. The second I would open my eyes I immediately craved nicotine. The anxiety I had both craving it and hitting that juul was ridiculous. My heart rate was insane and I even had a full on melt down. The party scene was the best and let’s be real all college kids are alcoholics. I wrote off the excessive drinking multiple nights a week and the constant 1000 juul rips a day as what everyone does. I would wake up with hangxiety 100% of the time. Waste an entire 24 hours in my emotions. My addictive personality didn’t scare me at all during all of this. It wasn’t until I decided to try coke that I noticed something different. Each time I did it, the rush that overtook my body was like none other. I literally would think I totally get why people are addicted this shit it amazing. It took me probably 5 or 6 times before I had that one bad experience where i just wanted more. I had overdone it and done too much where I genuinely was concerned for my health at that time and so was every person doing coke with me. I finally spoke out to my older sibling about it and they suggested I talk to my dad. I’ve never done it again even though there are sometimes I think it would be great. I don’t want to ruin my life, but that feeling is what we get as addicts. I consciously choose not to do it every time because I knew I could’ve been the next person to turn up dead.