The Chemical Battle

I have an extremely addictive personality. It wasn’t until October 31st 2020 that i knew that. It started with a little weed and ended the night with copious amounts of ketamine. The next few weeks was ecstasy, ketamine and terrible depression. Throughout the year i had done many drugs to cope with major depression and anxiety. Around March of 2021 i attempted suicide and if it weren’t for the amazing doctors i wouldn’t be alive. I kept using afterward to numb my emotions. Soon i was diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety, and Social anxiety. I was put on Prozac along with therapy. It worked well for a few months - until it didn’t. I started heavily using xanax in the summer and it went on for months and months every day until i overdosed on xanax and coke landing me a week in the hospital. I stopped taking my antidepressants and a few weeks after that i found myself in an extremely dangerous manic episode and i was using numerous drugs. I didn’t realize it until i had crashed back down and called my physciatrist.

It took me a really long time to get the balls to say that i am an addict. I have an extremely addictive personality and i do need help. Currently i am in rehab, and it has been the most helpful thing ever. I hope my story can encourage people to reach out; you are not alone.