Obsessive Thoughts Rot My Mind
Ever since the age of 12, I have struggled with some form of OCD. In my younger years around 12-15, it was something that got in the way of my everyday living. My brain would justify completing even the most futile of tasks because I could not stop thinking about it. Let me give you an example. My thing was doing everything in multiples of fours, mostly at night. So as I would shut my door at night I would check that my door was closed four times, I would touch my phone beside my bed four times, or maybe it was taking an even number of steps before I jumped in bed. It may seem manic to the people who have not suffered with OCD but for people like myself, it is almost as if there is someone upstairs in our mind forcing us to do these seemingly futile tasks.
Luckily, at this point in my life (19yrs), most of my OCD has subsided, that is of course, when my anxiety is low. One thing I have noticed is that when my anxiety goes up, my OCD also will get worse. Now I don’t know if there is an exact reason for this as I am not a medical professional but this has been the case for me. So for someone struggling with OCD I would suggest, because it works for me, trying to do things that lower anxiety such as meditation, deep breathing, and generally doing things that relax your mind and make you happy. Being obsessive can get in the way of everyday life, but don’t get me wrong, there are some aspects of OCD that I do “enjoy.” For example, I am extremely neat and organized, all of my clothes in my drawer are neat and folded and my papers on my desk in an orderly fashion. I like to look at my OCD in a positive light most of the time because I do not want to over stress myself with the belief that I need to make a drastic change.
I am grateful that my OCD is not something that is detrimental to my well being. However I know that there are some people out there who have it worse. For that reason I ask you to be careful throwing around the term OCD when describing someone in a joking manner. That goes for other words like “depressed” and “anxious” as well. As much as you might think it is harmless to use those words, it could be hurtful to others who are secretly battling it without you knowing.