Overwhelmed with Overthought

Thinking is something we do daily. It’s something that just comes naturally, people think before they say something (normally lol), they think about what they want for lunch, what they want to do for the day, etc. I think that the basis of thought is something so individualized, no one knows what you’re thinking, ever, your thoughts are your own.

Growing up I never thought I would ever have any sort of anxiety or anything to stress about mentally if that makes sense. Yet, as I got older, I would find myself questioning every single decision I had to make. “Was this the right choice?” “Did I say the right thing?” “What if they don’t like me because I said that?” “Ugh why did I say that they’re going to think I’m stupid.” Asking opinions on everything, “do you like this shirt?” “Should I wear this?” “Should I get this?” “Should I take this class?” “How should I answer this?” I know these may seem like some normal thoughts to some people, but for me it is an overwhelming sensation of overthought and anxiousness that basically consumes me. I find myself nowadays overthinking everything I say or do. And I don’t think I realized until recently how much of an overthinker I actually am, and how much anxiety is held up inside me because of that overthinking mindset. The other day as I sat at work, all I was doing the entire day was overthinking, my mind would just go into a spiral of thoughts about my life, and the decisions I had made and replaying them and thinking of alternatives and “what if’s.” It was to the point where my hands and chest were shaking, I couldn’t breathe or think, I couldn’t eat, my leg was bouncing up and down non-stop. I ended up looking up some playlists on sportify to help with anxiety, and turned up the music to try to drown out my thoughts… I never want to be dependent on people but when I’m around others my anxiety is not as bad. I feel like I tell my friends and my parents a lot about my feelings and emotions, and they are always there to help reassure me in my thoughts. I’ll tell you what I try to tell myself: don’t overthink the past when it has already been done. You can’t change the past, there is no magic time machine gearing up to take you back to last weekend or back an hour. All you can do is focus on the now. While that can be hard for me most of the time, it’s something I’m working on and learning to trust myself.