Willingly Unwillingly Solitary Confinement

Avoidant personality disorder

An endless loop of wanting more, but not wanting to do more. Wanting to be more social, but confined to your own mind by the barriers created.

Knowing everything you need to and want to do with no motivation, drive or will to bring yourself to do those things. Because they’re work? Because they’re unknown, uncomfortable, unpredictable situations.

The same six walls left right, up down. Unable to change them significantly, but free to walk out of them.

No locks, bars, guards, or limitations. The only thing in the way is the brain. To overthink situations that aren’t given a second thought by others. Knowing you’re capable of it, but not knowing how to achieve it.

Knowing where everything is within your 6 walls, organized or is there no room for a mess?

Avoidant personality disorder. Avoiding anything and everything possible and justifying with overthinking where nothing really matters if done or not.

Procrastinating. Instant gratification. An instant reaction that hopefully makes doing the work worth it.

Being aware that delayed gratification pays off, being aware of everything you need to do, to be a productive human. Planning everything you need to do, and doing nothing.

An endless battle that the mind never seems to win. Wanting to do it all, but not even taking the step to start. Knowing it’s all self discipline.

Self Discipline = Freedom Financial Security = Freedom Confidence Within Oneself = Freedom

Wanting more out of life, knowing you can achieve it. But where is the tutorial?

Avoidant personality disorder.

Knowing everyday that becomes yesterday is another day of no progress. Making great strides in mental health, but facing the deadly obstacle of meeting your brain's demand for social interaction.

Becoming more confident in oneself, but are you really until validated? We’d like to think so.

Social anxiety = cognitive therapy Why is the brain scared of the social when it wants to be?

Rewiring something you unconsciously made, it’s hard to track each wire to its origins. As the bundle unravels even if some kinks are left in the work will all be worth it.

How do you knock being uninterested in everything? Well have you done everything? I’d think not, so how can you begin to be uninterested in everything?

Doing something new doesn’t have to be extremely uncomfortable unless you make it. The more time you spend thinking about doing it the less time you spend doing it. The more time you spend thinking about doing it the more time you’ll have to come up with reasons to not do it.

Something simple such as going to the store, or going for a walk or run. These things (within reason) will not hurt you and in fact could make you feel better about yourself. However, worry.

Worrying about someone seeing your existence. Worrying about looking embarrassing performing a normal human task some people wouldn’t even question doing naked if not for law. Instead of questioning the activity itself, question the likelihood that any other existing human would have a problem with the way you are existing. We all have problems is what we say, but what we do with those problems at the end of the day is what makes us.

Instead of coming up with unsolvable situations in your head, consider trying to complete one of the unsolvable math problems, or you could do a simple activity.

[Maybe I just like to think that I am such a complex human that only I could understand the severity of my presence running outside. Could cause earthquakes, derail trains, who knows. If I let my true personality out it will be simply too much for the world to handle, they have never seen someone so unique as me.]

I’m guessing that’s the justification for allowing such thoughts to ransack the motivation to achieve more. Being able to prove how much you can do, but it’s easier to not set the bar at all. If there is no bar there is no better to do.

They say take baby steps. But baby steps started as crawling and crawling started as rolling, so every failed baby step is only one roll away from a crawl which is only one crawl away from a step.

As babies we had no choice than to utilize the body given to us. Roll, crawl, run and jump. The things we learned that unknowingly made our future what it is.

The past is not the present, the past can affect the present, but only if you let it.

The present will always become the past, using your present to create a past to form the future you want.

The goals of the future; short, medium, and long. They are all within reach, human time conception, and reason. The key to achieving them is nothing more than Self Discipline, Consistency, and Determination.

Modern rise to success often leaves out the time of self discipline, consistency to their work, and determination to make it to the success we see them at. Social media can make dreams come true overnight and also form comparable nightmares.

Physical appearance is not everything, we are only human and limited to the body we receive. However, the mind is limitless so the world can become whatever you perceive it as. Confidence breeds confidence alike insecurity breeds insecurity. Subconsciously we are instilled with morals, beliefs, and rituals we have no control over, until we do. When the control is passed to you in the life relay race you’re running, what do you do if not fumble it a few times?

https://youtu.be/JWbSLO2yArI

With practice comes perfection, with existing comes the unpredictable.

Only with practice can perfection be achieved and practicing can leave you prepared for the unpredictable. Firmly hold onto that baton and create the foundation for your morals, beliefs, and rituals that you will embody throughout the race. Developing a firm grip on your morals, beliefs, and rituals so that it can flow with your hand effortlessly as you run through life. One day pass it on to your own children, hopefully when that time comes they’re able to hold it confidently because you prepared them for the moment.

May your baton never hit the ground and your grip stay firm. 🏃🗞 Practice your fears so that you can face them confidently and dismiss them firmly. Avoidant personality disorder. Question your ideas, they may not be as right as you think.

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